Every single one of us have battled with self-esteem issues over the years (especially girls and women). It’s no secret I’m an advocate for 2 major things, kindness, and teaching our kids important lessons and values to be decent humans, goes without saying, please teach this to your kids, nieces, nephews, grandkids etc.
Following these key areas will give you the best shot at not only improving your self-esteem but keeping it boosted.
1. Be Kind To Yourself
- Recognise labels are not who you are.
- If you have been called or labelled something, it does not mean you ARE the label placed upon you.
- Positive Self-Talk
- Set realistic standards for yourself, not unrealistic.
- When realistic standards are met, we are more likely to achieve something or be happy with our results, thus rather than chiding, we can be happy with ourselves and internalise positive self-talk.
“The most progress I’ve made has been when I’ve been kind to myself.”
Over time we have been given many labels and they have an impact on us. How we react differs from person to person, however, you do not need to carry them with you forever. It’s a choice to accept the label, your choice not to any longer if you have carried the belief with you, you are not the label. Find a positive label for yourself or better yet, don’t even pick a label, just ‘be’. Be kind to yourself.
“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
This too applies to self, not just others.
- Affirming silently
- Recognising you did the best you could
- “It would be nice to be able to……, however I did this well”
- Notice the things you do well and praise yourself for them
Self-praise isn’t about gloating, big noting yourself or bragging, it is simply recognising your small successes and achievements and being proud of them, it doesn’t even need to mean anything to anyone else but you. A win is a win, no matter how small, give yourself a fist pump when you feel those wins, it will put a smile on your face and make you feel great. When you are proud of something, own it, share it, for you (if you so choose). If you choose to share something with others, share with those who are likely to be happy for you and support you rather than others who may try to bring you down.
- Never compare yourself with others
- Each of us are unique, with our own individual qualities. Nobody is better than another, we are one.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
- When you’re discouraged
- STOP / LISTEN & REPLACE the sentence
“I’ll never be able to” with “I’ll give it go”
- Great lesson to teach kids too
- STOP / LISTEN & REPLACE the sentence
4. Be Fair To Yourself
- Consider yourself as you would others
- We are our own harshest critics. Would you talk to others the way you talk to yourself? (Kinda goes along with point 1)
“Do unto others as you would have done unto you” ~Unknown
One step further ‘do unto yourself only what you will accept others to do unto you’ – in other words, treat yourself how you want others to treat you. If you wouldn’t accept someone else treating you unfairly, why treat yourself in any other way? We can be so kind to others yet not to self.
- Focus on what you do well
- It improves your mood to focus on your achievements in times of disappointments.
I recently posted about this on my facebook fan page here Magnifying Successes – check it out for another great tip on how to keep your focus positive.
- Enjoy things you’re not good at if you enjoy it.
- It’s OK to suck!!!! Who bloody cares if you’re not good at something if you’re enjoying yourself.
LOVE this line!! So you can’t colour in for the life of you and make it look like you see in books yet, you colour outside the lines and mix and match colours in ways you’d never see as an example yet you love creating a unique piece of artwork. GOOD ON YOU – DO IT!!
You might not be able to hit a baseball or softball very well and get out everytime, however the feeling of being on the field with a bunch of other people in a team environment gives you warm and fuzzies, a smile on your face and good laughs. Have a ball (no pun intended), play it anyway! Who cares, life is for living! Go live.
5. Give To Self
- Give time to yourself regularly
- Limited energy may be depleted by giving too much to others
- Read a book, sit outside in the quiet with a cuppa, go for a walk, listen to some music, hang in a hammock. Whatever it is, give time to yourself.
- Replenish your energy by giving to yourself
- When giving to others and your resources are low, you’re actually being selfish as you’re not giving your best!
Say WHAAAAT??? When I heard this I was like, ‘Say that again’. I recently wrote about being selfish and self-ish you can read here Rise Goddess and this line drove it home. Think about it, when you’re constantly giving, you’re drained right? When you’re feeling low, the quality of what you’re giving is pretty crap, yet on the flip side, when you’re feeling fantastic the output of your energy is radiant, bouyant, fresh and it feels great to give rather than depleted. By filling your cup, you’re able to give the overflowing high quality of yourself to others, AND you don’t feel drained, winner winner chicken dinner!!
6. Being Responsible For Self
- Taking responsibility for own needs and deeds build self-esteem and confidence.
- Self Acceptance (this can be a really hard one)
- We have good and bad qualities, you are who you are, accept it.
- You can change anything, it’s your perogative, anything you’re unhappy with and would like to change, you can, if you’re happy and don’t want to change them, don’t, if something makes you unhappy, you know what to do.
“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Taking responsibility for yourself is not only empowering, it also sets and example for others. It also affirms to yourself to take responsiblity for self ONLY and not the issues or responsibilities which belong to others.
Like you taking responsibility for self, others need to take responsibility for
** All of the above points will undoubtedly boost your self-esteem, boosting your self-esteem will ultimately lead you to the next semi-rule, habit, effect or whatever you want to call it, they’re all interlinked. When you get to this point, oh how life changes!
7. Love Thyself – Unconditionally
“Love yourself as much as you want your soulmate to love you.” ~ Elizabeth Daniels
WARTS AND ALL
Yep, warts and all. Love yourself for who you are, everything you are, your whole being, you are perfectly imperfect the way you are. We are constantly changing and evolving so no need to be caught up in things you’re not happy about, you can change them. Love yourself for who you are NOW, when you’ve changed the things you want to change (IF) you want to change them, you’ll love yourself even more.
Brings me back to the beginning. “What matters most, is how you see yourself.”
There is no relationship as important as the one you have with yourself.
Another little tip for Mothers, if your daughter sees you loving yourself, you will be showing her to love herself too giving her a great start in life.
Thank you for reading!
I hope you found this useful. What tips or tools have you found useful for boosting your self-esteem?
Feel free to leave it in the comments and if you found any of this useful, share with other to help them too.
Kindness makes the world go round!
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